Inheriting a house with your brothers and sisters

When a parent leaves a house to several children, the paperwork is usually the easy part. The hard part is that several people now own one house, and they rarely want the same thing from it.

One wants to sell and move on. Another wants to keep it, or feels they ought to. Sometimes one of you is still living in it. Often one lives nearby and ends up doing everything, while another lives at the other end of the country and hears about it second hand.

None of that is unreasonable. It just doesn't fit together without some work, and it all happens at a time when people are grieving and not at their most patient.

Who actually decides

The executors named in the will (or administrators, if there isn't a will) deal with the estate, and that includes selling the house. They might be one of the siblings, several of them, or a solicitor. In most cases a sale can't complete until the grant of probate or letters of administration has come through, although you can talk about options, and get the house valued, before then.

Being an executor is a responsibility, not a casting vote. Executors have to act in the interests of the estate and the people who inherit from it. Keeping everyone informed isn't a legal nicety. It's what stops a disagreement turning into a dispute.

If a real disagreement does develop, get a probate solicitor involved early. Once a family ends up in front of a court over a house, everyone loses time and money, and usually a relationship or two.

If one of you is living there

It's a common situation. A sibling who cared for a parent has often been living in the house, sometimes for years, and moving out means losing a home as well as a parent. That deserves patience and some understanding from the rest of the family.

It also needs a date. An open-ended arrangement, where one beneficiary lives there rent free while the others wait, tends to turn a sad situation into a bitter one. The costs don't stop either. Someone is paying the insurance, the council tax and the repairs, and the others are waiting for their share.

Agree a timescale early, and write it down. If the sibling living there wants to stay, that's a conversation about buying the others out, not about waiting.

If one of you wants to keep it

A buy-out is often the cleanest answer. The sibling keeping the house pays the others their share, based on an agreed value, and the house passes to them.

It sounds simple. The difficulty is almost always the value. The sibling buying wants a fair price. The siblings selling want a fair price. They rarely mean the same number.

It also needs the money. A buy-out usually means a mortgage, and the lender will want its own valuation. If that comes in below the agreed figure, the conversation starts again.

Start with the number

Most arguments about inherited houses are really arguments about what the house is worth. One sibling has seen an estate agent's figure and holds onto it. Another has been round and noticed the roof, the boiler and the wiring.

Part of the problem is that there are several different numbers, all of them legitimate, answering different questions. The probate valuation is the value at the date of death, used for inheritance tax. It also matters later, because if the house sells for more than that, the gain may be taxable. An agent's valuation is an asking price: what the house might achieve if the right buyer turns up, their mortgage is approved and the sale doesn't fall through. A direct offer is what someone will actually pay, for the house as it is, with no chain.

None of these is the “real” value. They are different measures. What helps is having them in writing, with the reasoning, so everyone is looking at the same thing rather than one person relaying a figure second hand.

That's one reason we show how we reach our figure. It gives the executors something they can share with the whole family, and it lets people see what has been allowed for and why.

Speed isn't always the point

Some families want it settled quickly. The house is empty, the bills keep coming and nobody wants to think about it every week. Others want to take their time, sort through a lifetime of belongings and say goodbye to the place properly.

Both are reasonable. The mistake is assuming everyone wants the same pace. Ask. A sibling who seems to be dragging their feet may simply not be ready to clear their mother's bedroom.

A few things that help

• Agree one point of contact, so solicitors, agents and buyers hear one voice
• Keep the house insured. Standard cover often stops once a house has been empty for a month or so
• Take what matters to you from the house first. If you sell directly, you don't need to clear the rest
• Keep a simple record of what has been spent on the house and by whom
• Speak to an accountant if the house may sell for more than its probate value
• Put what you agree in writing, even between family

If you're an executor and would like a figure you can share with everyone, talk to us. We'll show our working, and we'll work at the pace your family needs.